she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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