She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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