cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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