I heard we made out
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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