Don't you send me to vm
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
