WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
