I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
