Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
