i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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