playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
