If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
