Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
