Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
