i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
