We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
