why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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