The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
