We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
