Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
