It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
