My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
