I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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