Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
