Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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