he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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