:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
