worst night to have a conscience
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
