dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
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