u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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