Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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