Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
