i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
