why didn't you poke me back
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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