I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
