Are we in a gay sports bar?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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