So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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