I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
