Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
