Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
