Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
