whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
