these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
