It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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