Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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