i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize