Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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