Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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