i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
