you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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