Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
sex in a hospital.. check
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize