this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
