Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
