Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
