It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
