I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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