That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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