i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize