Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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