make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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