what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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