I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
